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Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him.
Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank’s slogan was:
We make your dreams come true
Santa: So,
you are distantly related to the family next door,

are you?
Banta: Yes,
their dog is our dog's brother.
Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey
Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.
Santa: So,
you are distantly related to the family next door,

are you?

Banta: Yes,
their dog is our dogs brother.
Bantas advise:-
Dont carry umbrella during rain
Keep WHISPER on ur head
ye ghanto tak geelepan
ka ahsas nahi hone deta:D
Santa Drivs In To 1-Way &
Cros NO ENTRY Board

Police: No ENTRY Ka
Board Nai Dekha ?

Santa: Mujhe Laga Film
Ka Poster Hai..
Santa was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks Santa why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
Santa : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
Santa was inserting dogs tail into pipe..
Banta: Oye bevwoof, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti..!.
..
..
..
..
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe bend kar raha hoon...
Salesman:This computer will
cut your workload by 50%.

Santa:That is great,
I will take two of them:p
Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good.. Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad... Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn’t say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.

Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa
Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?

Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.
Santa Se Puchha Ki-"Tum Next Janam Me Kya Banna Pasand Karoge?
Srdr-"A Cockroach"
Why?
Bcoz Meri Wife Sirf Cockroach Se Hi Darti Hai
Phone Ki Ganti Baji.
Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet: Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke
Jasmeet: Phone Mere Liye Tha!
Santa told Banta: Go and water the plants.
Banta: It's already raining.
Santa: So what, take an umbrella and go
Santa To Banta: Oye, Tuu Har Sms Mujhe 2 Baar Kion Bhejta Hai....????

Banta: Wo Is Liye K Agar Tujhe Ek Forward Kerna ho Tou Dossra Tere Paas Rahe.... ;->
Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions

Teacher-If
1000 Kgs= Ton.
Then

For 3000 Kgs
=How Much?

Santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!
Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good.. Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad.. Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me.
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didnt tell me where.
Santa - My wife died yesterday..
Im trying to cry but tears are not come out,
what to do?
Banta - No Problem.
Just Imagine she Came Back. :D
SANTA said something in ears of BANTA and BANTA died!!!


What did SANTA say?






DHISHKYOUN!!!
Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.

Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?
Santa:yar aeroplane itna bada hota hai to usse paint kaise karte hain?
Banta:aeroplan e jab udte hue CHOTA sa dikhta hai to phata phat uspe paint kar dete hain.
Santa:
Major Rohail told me T.V cabel is not good for kids,
they don’t study,so i got rid of it

Banta: Good?
Santa: Now we have a Dish Installed
Santa cuts sides of the capsule
before taking it?
Guess why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
To avoid the side effects!
Santa Lost His Cheque Book

Bank Manager:
Be Careful,
Anyone Can Put Ur Sign ..

Santa:
Oye, Im Not A Fool,
I Have Already Signed
All Cheques .. ;->
An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.
Santa Singh was observing him, suddenly a star falls.

Seeing that Santa Singh shouted, what a shot you made
Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didnt light.

He tried another, It didnt light too. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.

What for did you put that match in your vest pocket? asked the another man.

Santa replied, Thats a lucky match stick. Ill use it again.

Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500
Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye
Preeto 2 maid:
Oh Kanta, I have reason 2 suspect that
Banta is having an affair with his secretary.

Kanta: I don’t believe it!
U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
Banta to his new bride, Preeto,
Now that we are married,
do you think you will be able
to live on my small income?

Of course, dear, no trouble,she replied.
But what will you live on?